this may be a violation--blogging twice in one day--but i've got something completely different to express now.

i'm missing utep like crazy, and having a pretty rough time all around. so i start browsing blogs and reading first-year-teacher thoughts, and whatnot. i stumble upon pictures on the cohort iv homepage from my first week in my classroom. i'm standing on a chair "contemplating wall colors," as the caption states. just looking around the little bit of space visible in the photo, the randomness going on in the background--it's a completely different story now. i'm working in a real classroom that--on some level--is organized and functional. i remember wondering that first week of pd if it would never feel like "home," like a place that i would be comfortable teaching in. nearly 10 weeks later, it is. i feel so comfortable being in my classroom. it's finally starting to feel like mine. shades up, lights off, soft music, and it has a perfectly calming ambiance. outside of my broken car, i don't have a whole lot of spaces that feel that way. it's exactly the kind of stability and comfort i need right now.

free your mind

so, i got a new bookcase today. i needed to clear all my junk off the heater for safety reasons, and i bothered folks until i got one. it did a lot to open up the room. my guided reading table is against the windows. with all the junk gone, i can finally feel the sun on my back. it's nice. the space is more uncluttered, which really freed up my mind about school worries some. of course in that space, other things moved in, but that's the nature of the beast.

by the way, i love autumn. not only is it a beautiful season, but you can get pumpkin flavored coffee.

Last week one of my kids brought a knife to school and pulled it out during P.E. Another of my students approached him and took it. The school recommended that the boy who brought the knife be sent to Hartgrove. Week 8 and one of mine is already at Hartgrove. I'm not prepared to look into the darkness like this. It's too much.

I think I chose the wrong profession.