Debussy + Puzzles = Sanity

Yeah, so I haven't blogged in a while. Since my last entry, I've become a real teacher in the real world with real students--i.e. reality came crashing down around my head. True colors abound. For a moment there I lost my purpose, my passion, my burning desire to do this every day for the next...166 days. But all that's back now. I got a puzzle. That's my new thing--puzzles. I bought a couple for the kids and they loved the 100-piece, but the 500-piece was more than daunting for even my puzzle-savviest students. I decided to lay the puzzle out and start it myself to give them a head start and maybe a bit more confidence. In the process, I realized how much I love puzzles. It's not news really, just a revival of a childhood hobby. I started after school on Wednesday. I actually stayed at school just to work on the puzzle. Thursday morning I informed the kids that they could no longer go to the puzzle table whenever they wanted. I told them that I am now invested in the puzzle and they can only work on it with permission. (Believe it or not, that totally worked.) That afternoon, I set a time limit for myself--which I passed by like half an hour--to stay and work on the puzzle. Friday was one of those days from hell and all I could think of was stopping to get a puzzle on the way home. I considered bringing the 500-piece from school, but I realized how important it is for me to be able to turn on Debussy at the end of a long day and sit down to the ocean blues of my jigsaw puzzle. I need that unwind time because I know that when I get home after my God-knows-how-long commute, I have to get straight to work to get to bed at a decent hour. So after school, I stick around a while and work on my puzzle.

Gratitude

I go to a small, family church. I've been a member from birth, and I've known many of the parishioners my entire life. Today, my Pastor surprised me with a celebration in honor of my recent graduation. My family knew about it and invited special guests and everything. All week I had no idea. It was wonderful and humbling.

During my 2 minutes of remarks, I couldn't help but think of my students. The church was celebrating me and my degree, but none of that matters without my students. All of it is for them.

After thanking everyone, I gave an update on my first week of teaching, andI couldn't help but exclaim, "I'm a teacher--a real teacher!" I've been blessed to live my dreams--literally. I come from a loving environment. My family, my church, and other loved ones have spent my lifetime sowing good seeds into my life, nurturing my spirit and mind. They have strengthened me for the work ahead. My purpose now is to sow into the lives of my kids--pay it forward. I want to do everything within my power to make their dreams as much a reality as my own. Not to say that my kids don't come from loving and empowering environments, but I've been given far too much not to do my part to strengthen the next generation.

I love waking up in the morning. I get to go to Barton and spend the day with the best kids on the south side of Chicago. My fellow teachers are the most amazing people. I can barely keep track of time after school. The hours tick away as I move from room to room, talking with friends about the day, about our kids, about life. Some days it doesn't seem real. It doesn't seem like this is actually happening to me. There is no way I deserve any of it. I'm only half the person I know I should be, but here I am, living the life I want.

Today was amazing. I felt like I'd been doing this teaching thing for years. The kids fell right into routines from last year that I want to carry into this year. They were excited and cooperative. With the exception of three today (and another tomorrow), I taught all of my students last year and they actually believed I was teacher then! I was concerned that I hadn't really attained "teacher status," and thus would have some issues with management and authority, but there was no problem. I'm the happiest fool walking around town. Optimism has re-entered my world. Third grade is going to be awesome.

Life is good.

This would not be a true first year blog without at least a few words on the eve of my first day of teaching.

To start, I'm excited. My nearly bi-polar mood swings of the past week have seemingly subsided, and I'm feeling rather happy. I feel in control of myself and my plans for the first day. My room looks great--I almost like the Easter egg color scheme. The latest addition to the decor is a little curtain near the door that hides a small space that I've taken as storage. It's very cute and functional. Overall, I think my room has achieved my goal of being ultra functional. I don't like a lot of stuff around that I don't use. I don't believe in overworking the butcher paper either. I've left a few boards bare that most teachers opt to cover because they seem more useful to me that way. The room feels like a place where I belong. The next step is to make it feel the same way for my kids. Speaking of kids...

I can't wait to see them! It's been three months and I know they've grown. Just seeing them for the first time since June will be enough of a rush to keep me going for a few hours. We're going to have an awesome year. There are so many things I'm excited to do with them--from projects and units of study to new routines--but today I realized that I don't have to do it all at once. There's no law that says all routines must be in place from day one. For instance, I know that classroom jobs will be a vital part of our lives together, but they are a week 2 venture. The same is true for checking books out of the library. I can't possibly lay down every single thing the first day. I don't want to overload the students or myself. We're all taking this thing one day at a time.

This is literally a dream come true for me. I've been wanting my own classroom for four years, and finally, I have one. As my brother says, I'm "officially official."